


there is a ghost in your dreams (and you kill it)

by Ro29



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: 9 year old anakin, Anakin and Vader Don't Like That, Angst, But definitely no apologism, Canon Compliant, Clone wars anakin, Gen, Genocide isn't cool!!!, He makes Shit Decisions, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Little Anakin is pissed off, Little Ani spitting Facts, No Bashing, Shmi Skywalker Deserves Better, They are sentient beings!!, Tusken Raiders (Star Wars), and vader are all in a room, no one is happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27717326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ro29/pseuds/Ro29
Summary: There is a dead boy staring up at Vader.There is a dead boy staring up at Vader with terror and rage and there is a dead man across the room and looking at the boy like he is a ghost and at Vader like he is a nightmare.The life support whirs and Vader’s lungs fill with air, exhale.Good. The boy and man are weak, are all the parts of Vader he has long since killed. This changes nothing.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Shmi Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 14
Kudos: 94
Collections: New SW Canon Server Works





	there is a ghost in your dreams (and you kill it)

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the prompt on the server of "Young Anakin meeting his future selves". I took that and ran with it so, yeah, lol.

There is a dead boy staring up at Vader.

There is a dead boy staring up at Vader with terror and rage and there is a dead man across the room and looking at the boy like he is a ghost and at Vader like he is a nightmare.

The life support whirs and Vader’s lungs fill with air, exhale.

Good. The boy and man are weak, are all the parts of Vader he has long since killed. This changes nothing.

The dead boy sets his jaw, tears in his blue eyes and snarls up at him, “Go away! _e chu ta! Sleemo,_ go away! You aren’t real, you’re a monster!”

The dead man curses, yanks the little dead boy back and behind him, “Stop, little me, stop he’s a _Sith_.”

The dead boy kicks and snarls, “That’s even worse! He’s like the one who killed Mister Qui, he’s _evil_.”

Vader wants nothing more than to grip the little dead things neck and crush it, wants to destroy this pesky persistent hallucination and this self-righteous Jedi who thinks the world will give him what he wants because he is basking himself in light.

Wants to rip open this Jedi and tear into him until he can dig out the parts of him that were Vader and reveal how much better it is. Find the part of that boy playing hero that basked in the blood of his mother’s killers and their children.

The little dead boy chokes and sobs and backs away in horror, young and untrained and shining in the force and unshielded “No! No, no, go away, _go away_ , Stop it, _stop i_ t.”

“You’re _awful_ ,” he sobs, and screams and tries to burn Vader out, rips and shoves him away from his light as hard as he can, “you’re no better than the slavers and the Hutts.”

Vader burns, but he has done that before, so it is easy to flick the boy away, slam him against the wall as the rage rises, twists it’s way up his veins and into his macabre heart.

“Shut,” he says, tightens his hand into a fist as air breathes into his lungs and out again, “your mouth, boy.”

The dead child sobs and shakes his head and the dead man snarls, rage in his blue eyes and lightsaber in hand.

Vader is pleased with that. _Good_ , he thinks, _more now, so close to the edge, dead man, now trip over it._

He releases the dead boy who still believes in heroes, lets him fall to the ground with a gasp.

“What are you doing _sith_ _scum_ , why make this happen?” The dead man spits, and Vader wants to laugh at his naivety.

Vader tilts his head a little, “What makes you think it was my doing, Skywalker?”

“You’re a _sith_ ,” the fool spits, “you all seem to do things for no reason other than to cause pain.”

Vader advances towards the dead fool, “And yet, you are the weak fool I once was.”

The dead man flinches, snarls and spits and that rage bubbles up and rings loud, “I’d _never_.”

“And yet you did.” Vader says, watching as the fool stumbles on the rope and holds on for dear life.

“Stop it!” The dead child yells, and Vader and the fool are pressed backwards, forced up against the walls with a choking weight.

“I hate you both!” The dead child spits, snot-faced and pathetic.

Vader doesn’t care, this child can do nothing he can not, is weak and pathetic and believes in Jedi and heroes and happy endings.

Vader knows better.

The dead child blazes and cries and spits, “Stop it! You’re wrong and you’re just hurting everyone to make yourself feel better and _you_ ,” he turns away from Vader, looks at the fool, “You just keep making it worse you’re so mad and angry and _mean_. It’s all just sitting there and it _hurts_.”

The fool looks at the child like he doesn’t understand, like this is a shock.

“I’m a Jedi,” the dead man says, “I’m good, I’m a General, if you’re gonna be upset with anyone then be upset with the _sith_ right over there.” The dead man looks at the dead boy and says, “I’m the good guy here little me.”

The boy looks at the two of them and shakes his head slowly, “The _kids_.” he says, “even the _kids_.”

It takes a second for the fool to realize what Vader already knows.

The fool scoffs, “They aren’t _people_ ,” he says, “And they killed Mum, they _deserved_ it.”

“But Mum said—”

“She’s _dead_ ,” the fool spits and Vader feels his rage, feels his anger and overwhelming need to rip and tear and draw blood. He’d smile, if he could, instead he sits, let’s the pathetic child hold him where he is.

He’ll let them kill each other again and hope they stay dead this time, these reminders of his past weaknesses.

“You didn’t get to save her,” General Skywalker spits, accusation and anger and hatred aimed at the pathetic form of his child self, “You _failed_ her, and you let her _die_ , and _I’m_ the one who made them pay for it so don’t you _dare—”_

“You’re just as bad as them!” Ani Skywalker screams. And Vader would scoff if he could.

“I hate you _both_ ,” Ani says, “I hope I never become you, I hope you _disappear_ and _never_ get the chance to hurt anyone.”

“Don’t be _naive_ ,” Vader says and the child rounds on him.

“Shut up! Shut up! _Shut up!”_ the child covers his ears, closes his eyes as if that will make them disappear.

_Weak, pathetic child._ Vader thinks.

There’s sobbing and Vader’s lip twitches in disgust.

The dead man doesn’t look at the boy, jaw clenched, eyes hard and conflicted.

The little slave child of Vader’s past looks up at him, with tear-streaked cheeks and back to the naive fool Vader once was, sniffs.

“You’re the same.” He says, voice wobbling.

Vader clenches his fists, fights against the pathetic little ghost’s hold on him, “We are not the _same_.” his lungs fill with air and exhale as the dead man who failed his wife spits and curses at the child he once was.

“I am _nothing_ like that sith,” he spits, red in the face and baring his teeth.

Vader flicks the little ghost away, stands, “That is a fool who I killed to become great.”

Skywalker snarls at him, pushes out and slams against his shields in a raging inferno.

“ _You,”_ he spits, “are a _sith_ and I’d rather see you _dead_ than become you.”

The ghost child pushes himself up, bruised knees and skinned hands and red-rimmed eyes, and Vader wants to kill them both, run them through and leave them in the past where they belong.

“Mum would hate both of you I think,” Ani says and Vader wants to rip him to pieces.

Skywalker stumbles and opens his mouth, Vader can see the words, _‘How would **you** know.’ _die on his tongue.

The ghost child is the only one of them who would know for sure.

Skywalker draws himself up and Vader clenches his fist and wants to tear them both down.

“She loved me,” Skywalker says, and he is desperate, and pathetic, “She _loved_ me.”

Ani shakes his head, “She loved you, but she hated the Masters and she would hate you for what you’ve done, I think. She always hated child-killers.”

Skywalker has nothing to say and Vader freezes. He can’t remember that, doesn’t remember that about her.

Little Ani Skywalker tilts his head, “I think she and Padmé both would hate you. _Do_ hate you. Was it worth it?”

He disappears and the dead man across from Vader curses.

Vader tilts his head, “Ignorant child.”

Skywalker looks up, a haunted look in his eyes, “Oh,” he says and it is quiet.

Vader blinks slowly and between one moment and the next the dead man disappears as well.

(Ani Skywalker wakes and remembers nothing other than fear and sorrow.

Anakin Skywalker wakes up and he throws up everything in his stomach.)

Vader wakes to a summons from his master.

He goes.

He is in the right, it matters not what the dead parts of him might’ve once thought.

He is in the right.

(The Force sings a choked song of sorrow and Vader crushes the throat of the nearest person in retaliation.

It doesn’t stop it, but it makes him feel more in control. And that is all that matters.)

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to find me other places I have a [writing tumblr](https://rose-blooms-red.tumblr.com) and a [fandom tumblr](https://themessofthecentury.tumblr.com)
> 
> Please come yell at me about Star Wars and DC!


End file.
